There’s a dude on my team in his twenties. He is a facilitator, often to leaders, which kinda blows my mind. He is kind. He’s mostly stopped using the term “guys” to address participants in meetings and training, which I appreciate. He speaks enthusiastically about his girlfriend and his cat. He’s a pretty sweet guy.
But he is blindly confident. His sunny disposition betrays his ignorance. He has not done the work to rigorously defend anything intellectually. He has empty, confident words that flow from his mouth through a corporate whitewashed smile.
Today I shared something I found helpful as we work to adapt to a changing world, the speed of using AI in design, and adopting the Agile framework in the world of learning and development. I don’t mind being vulnerable and sharing what I’m learning with those around me. But my dude took this as an opportunity to do some mansplaining and I just can’t.
What I put in the team chat:
“Hi team! I’ve been struggling to wrap my head around how we use Agile in L&D. I’m not sure who of us have taken the Agile training. I decided to chat with Gemini about it today and found the answer helpful. I’m familiar with the SAM model, but hadn’t tied it to Agile before. I found this helpful. Here is my prompt and the answer I received.”
“Our business is working to upskill everyone on how to work in an Agile framework. This seems to work well for software developers. However, I work in Learning & Development and I’m struggling to see how this frame works with the type of design work I do. What research and data exists around using Agile in other areas such as instructional design and talent development?”
CleanCorpPatriosphere dude responded inside a minute with: “I’ve taken it! I can help break it down if you’d like :)”
My dude.
I have also taken it.
I have also taken the CAPED team lead training.
I have also taken the Instructional Design Certification training from ATD on the SAM and ADDIE models.
I have also received a Master’s degree in education.
I have also worked in Instructional Design for 11 years.
What will you be breaking down for me?
I think about this from a broader perspective. I have three sons. They are all super smart in their own ways: socially, intellectually, musically. They are white dudes growing up in a society where wildly different ideologies are at war. Some of these ideologies are celebrating our differences and realize that diversity is a strength. Some of them are holding on tightly to the dominance of a certain type of person: a straight, white, American, “Christian” person.
I don’t think most of us even realize the deference we give to the dudes who are masculine, tall, and white.
Yesterday was voting day. We had primaries here in CA for governor, Lt Gov., the water district, judges, etc. I voted. I wore my “I Voted” sticker to work. I made my Google Meet background an encouragement to vote. And after the polls closed, I joined some friends at the local bar for “Acoustic Jam Night”. I know some of them voted in direct opposition to the way I did. I backed him up on singing “Creep” anyway. Others wore their “I Voted” sticker and sang original songs about people we cannot trust. It was a beautiful night of community despite our differences.
We have a president who launched us into a war with Iran, having no clear objectives or end goals. He’s an egomaniacal madman who uses power to harm those who oppose him. I don’t know what to do about this, although I found this today which will help. I’m struggling to balance my mental health with keeping up with the daily news. It seems in the America of 2026, we are the bad guys, locking up thousands of people without any due process. We have concentration camps in America now. It’s disgusting.
Patriarchy has led us here. The nice clean corporate mansplainer has led us here. The over confidence of sanctified common sense. The arrogance of straight, white, american jesus.
It’s insidious.